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How long should you wait before dating a friends ex

Is it worth pursuing? My rule of thumb is that it's fine unless it is a very good friend. If it's a close friend, proceed with caution. Nana points to the story of her friend Katie, a year-old Londoner who lost a friendship when an ex got involved. If you're swept up in love and you simply must date the ex of a close friend, experts recommend you sit your friend down. Even if it hurts your pride, check with him that it's OK.

LaCota stresses the conversation is worth having if you really think the girl might be your 'special someone'.


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During the conversation, pay attention to your friend's non-verbal communication. At the end of the day, dating a friend's ex is going to be tricky territory all around.

Is it ever OK to date your friend’s ex?

It's probably best if you can avoid it. If you can't, be prepared for potential complications and be realistic that you might lose a good buddy. It's fun while it lasts, but the devastation it leaves after is not so pleasant. It's a fun illusion, which, if pursued, might reveal a great relationship, or might not. Odds are, that's what this is, in which case you should probably just sigh, move on, and hit up your online dating site of choice, where you can find lots of other crush-worthy women. I found out about this the hard way, in a similar situation.

Is it OK to Date Your Friend’s Ex?

Tom, one of my childhood friends, was always kind of bummed out, until he met Josie, a fast-talking, high-energy woman who brought him out of his shell. They had a sparkling relationship — they were one of those couples that just radiated warm, gooey, nauseating passion — and I was super envious of it. Also, obviously, Josie was an outrageously foxy person: There was only one weird thing about her, which is that I would occasionally catch her looking at me a little funny.

I suspected that she had a low-key crush on me.

About a year after she dumped Tom abruptly, leaving him a sniveling wreck, I discovered that I was correct. We ran into each other at a party.

Flirting with each other was easy, taking each other's clothes off was easy, and it felt like fate — like absolute magic — and it kept feeling like absolute magic for about a month, at which point I discovered that she was kind of boring, or at least that we bored each other.

In the end, I got about five dates out of it, in exchange for an irreparably ruined friendship.

Wait - Is It Ever Acceptable To Date Your Friend's Ex?

Tom found out, and he never forgave me. Now, if you're sure that this is not you, that this is Real Love you're looking at, then what you have to do is tell your friend what's up. Tell your friend about your intentions, and ask him if there's any way you can make the process easier for him. This conversation will not go well. Because, again, you're declaring to an old friend that you're prepared to disregard his feelings.

That's the truth of the situation. There's no two ways about it. It's going to hurt even if you say all the nice things you should say — that you're still going to be his friend, that you're going to try not to Instagram this girl obsessively, etc. Ultimately, dating a friend's ex is inadvisable. But sometimes, you have to do inadvisable things for love. Think you could use some dating help, too?

Is it OK to Date Your Friend’s Ex?

Of course, seeing your ex with a friend could be hurtful at first. However, remember to keep the bigger picture in mind. According to Lori D. If nothing else, how the two of you met and your relationship story could make for a great wedding toast. Julie Peirano More Articles March 22,